Relationships – Part II: Lessons from Arabian Nights

In the first part of this article I discussed the spectrum of relationship. It was not a thought that is new or a new revelation. It was meant to be a trigger, to remind ourselves that this is a critical issue that we often neglect or wish away although it has very high influence on the success of any team or any organization.

Some of my friends who took an effort to read this told me that though this was relevant there I have not introduced any solution or tool. I agree I did not provide any prescription drug the Cartesian world is comfortable with.

In managing relationship there cannot be any algorithm. The only true foundation on which a strong relationship can be nurtured is an awareness of the spectrum and the human tendency to drift to its wrong end; accepting what the Japs said. ”You go to office to make your boss look good and to make your sub feel wanted”

Be a giver and not just a taker.

Having said that, in this part II I would like to share two thoughts that came to my mind when I read the story ‘Arabian nights’ for my daughter. First of all, for those who do not remember the story let me narrate it as I remember.

Once upon a time there lived a king who loved his wife very much. Somewhere along the line he went for a long expedition, to conquer the world around him. When he came back from his expedition, he heard that his wife had an affair with his friend. He was devastated. He lost his faith in womanhood. He executed his wife immediately.

From that day, as an expression of his anger at the womenfolk he was on a trip of vengeance. He would marry a woman every day and kill her the very next day. It was the duty of his trusted minister to find a prey every day.

The life of the minister was really sad. He couldn’t stomach what was happening around him. But he could not control.

The minister had a beautiful daughter who was smart and witty. Let us call her Raisina She decided to give a try to change the king. He forced her father to get her married to the king.

She had expressed one wish as a condition to the marriage. Allow her younger sister Rubena to sleep in the next room on her wedding night. The king agreed and they got married. The next day at two in the morning the Rubena woke up and as planned asked Raisina to tell her a story; a last story. Raisina started her story; the story was gripping and when it was early morning and time for her to die the story had just reached the its moment of suspense. The big sis told Rubina, “My baby, it is time for me to go”

The story was so touching and the king too was enthralled. The king allowed one more day for her to complete that story. During the day Raisina went about her normal day and made her useful for the king’s court. The night fell and the story continued. One story was over and a new story started. Early in the morning the story reached suspense again. One more day is extended. It continued for 1001 days. And then king realized the worth of Raisina. They lived happily ever after.

Let me present the learning I got from this story. First, till such time you have a credible story you are alive any relationship will live only if there is a story that interesting to both parties. So start developing storylines..

What is the next take from this story? Don’t make sweeping judgment based on few incidences. Be willing to spend the ‘1001 nights’ before you make your conclusion.

In most of the relationship we have in our life, specially in our office relationship we seldom get this time. But one thing that we can try is to avoid jumping to conclusion on the basis of few incidences. What you observed as a behavior could only be an aberration. There could be an extenuating circumstance so on..

When you are willing to take this position, then there is hope that you may be able to nurture relations to work for you.