Relationships- Part I: Bonding with the Boss

Managing and maintaining relations is a challenge; whether it is the relation between husband and wife or boss and subordinate or just between friends. How successful we are in this will determine how strong this team is. In private life if the relations sour the parties drift apart. If it is a family then the family may breaks down. In organization whose success critically depends on the interactions among the human beings, the challenge is manifold and a failure could lead to its degeneration.

In this article I don’t plan to discuss the whole gamut of relations; but just focus on the relation between boss and immediate subordinate. Especially, high up in the hierarchy where this gets to be more complex. If the sub is equally or more competent then managing the relation gets to be even more difficult.

A healthy team at the top is a blessing for the organization. They gel well guiding the organization to greater heights. The subs support the boss and help to implement their shared vision. The boss guides and encourages the sub in this endeavor. Thus the relationship is tightly coupled and complementary. As the Japanese say, ”You go to office to make your boss look good and to make your sub feel wanted”.

There can be many examples of such winning combinations. Infosys top management succession is a good example for this. Narayanamoorthi as the head of the organization lead from the front for a long time. At the same time, Nandan, Kris, Mohandas etc who were part of Infy from the beginning played critical role in making Infy a great company. Over the period this team ensured that each of these senior players was growing in stature both within and outside the company. This has helped in the smooth transition of the captainship of the company multiple times. Moorthy and Nandan who have now moved over from the executive positions, are still there as mentors and at the same time their credibility and stature has reached such exalted levels that they are able to contribute in a significant fashion to the policy map of India. I think this particular dimension of managing the relationships has been one of the key contributors of its astounding success.

It looks so obvious and simple. But it is one of the most difficult challenges. We looked at one end of the spectrum. Now let look at the other end of the spectrum. What are the risks that derail the relationship?

The sub may feel that the boss is there more by an accident of age or seniority. So he tries to belittle the boss and strives hard to prove him wrong. The game to make the boss look like and asshole is in full swing. You hide key info from him. Make a big story about the mistakes he made. Does it help? Most often not. It would be just counterproductive. If you take an effort to prove that your boss is an idiot, you are proving to be a bigger idiot for working for him.

The boss may feel that the sub is a threat to him or that he doesn’t play to his tune. Then lots of his energy goes in neutralizing the sub. You belittle him in front of the team or even outsiders. You don’t involve him in key deliberations. You go out of your way to ensure that he doesn’t grow in stature within or without. You rely more on outside experts and make him feel small. Does this help? No. It only dissipates the energy within the organization. The sub no more is your alley. He will work towards torpedoing your plans. He will never give his best. You need to remember your sub who is ready to give his life for you and the organization can be your biggest asset. (I assume that your sub is worth this respect. If not, you are to blame for having him there in the first place) when you help him to grow you grow too.

The reality is seldom at either end of the spectrum. It is a floating point that dances all along the spectrum. The success of the team depends on how both the boss and the sub fully absorbs and appreciates the essence of this continuum; analyze their relationship in this framework and work towards keeping the course steady. Then the relationship grows in trust and the teams become a winning combination and avoid game of one-upmanship.