It pays to be nice; but you pay ?

My friends always used to make fun of me that very often I display a grumpy countenance. One day we were all on a tour and we chatted about this trait during dinner. So next day when I got up I decided that I am going to be show a pleasant face.

I was taking a flight back to Mumbai that day. I gave the taxi driver one of the most charming smiles that I could. He smiled back too. We had quite a lot of small talk on the way. When I finished my drive and was paying him, I smiled again. Suddenly with the best smile he could offer, he asked me. “Sir, this is the ‘bonny’ for the day, give me an extra 50”. After this exchange of smiles and pleasantries, how could I ruin it for Rs 50?

I was now in the airport, and after check-in I proceeded to the security. I smiled also at the policeman while being frisked. Initially he had a quizzical look at my attempt of bonhomie. Then after frisking was complete and as I was moving out, he coughed and muttered. “Sir, how about giving me something for a coffee?”

“It pays to be nice, but you pay..”

What does it mean? Does it mean that being nice, friendly and polite mean being weak?

Not necessarily, though very often people perceive it that way and many people try to take advantage of it. That is why sometimes people in power and in a position of being a ‘giver’ normally try to keep a very ‘aloof’ expression.

On the other hand this aloofness could be a mask to hide your inability to be assertive. Assertive about what is right, what is fair, what is due and so on. (The aloofness could also be a ploy for extracting something from the client, or satisfying ego trip or when the service provider doesn’t care and is only doing a job. This is out of scope of this discussion)

In my opinion this aloofness though an effective tool, it is not the best tool for overcoming your weakness in being assertive. Imagine how nice you feel if the doctor who treats you, the policeman who attend to your complaint and the bank teller who services you are also pleasant.

Once I was travelling from LA to Washington on a winter morning. Though it was Christmas season it was a gloomy day. The weather was bad and the aircraft was being tossed up and down. Many of the passengers including my daughter and I were feeling very sick and ready to throw up. The PA system came live and I expected either the monotone of a digital voice or a human being sounding digital making a safety announcement as per the federal regulations. But the captain came online. He had a terrific sense of humour and talked over the PA system for almost five minutes. Of course he made the safety announcement. But it was interspersed with humorous interludes on the season and the weather. It was really soothing and lifted up the mood of all the passengers who were down and moody in the gloomy weather.

I remember a similar experience in a difference context. I fainted in the office and was taken to the hospital. They wired me up and put me through a battery of tests. It was not a pleasant experience and I was generally tensed. The doctors were efficient going about their job with precision. But I was still on the edge, though they had given me a general clearance. I later visited another doctor for a second opinion. This doctor was a different kettle of fish. More than the second opinion and the treatment he suggested, his comforting chat made me feel much better, confident and helped me to recover faster.

But this is one aspect often forgotten; especially in public service. Even many organisations which try to ‘take care of’ this aspect in their client service department fail to address at many places. One of the areas many people fail very often is at the reception counter and with the secretaries of the big bosses. Their rude behaviour often makes the visitors feel so insulted and irritable and the guests are made as if they are being given a big favour (unless of course the guest is a VIP). Mostly the visitors will never mention this. But that doesn’t mean that they never felt bad.

A service, when laced with a smile and/ or a nice word, can double the value of what you offer at no extra cost. This may make the recipient feel respected and may even make his day. This is all the more important when we are serving the public at large. Then we have to accept that we are expected to serve and not just rule like the old feudal lords.

May be I am asking too much