We have an argument with our colleague in which he takes a position that contradicts us. May be his position is quite stupid. May be he has a hidden agenda. Should we just accept it? Should we not contradict and put forward our position. The answer is yes. But should we lace our disagreement with retorts that is based on his caste or religion or family or his foibles? Should we call him a fool.
The moment we do that, we take the disagreement to a different plane. His ego is bruised. We touch a sore spot. The response would definitely be at very least a ‘tat for the tit”. Most probably one grade stronger and bitter. Soon it becomes an arms race of insults and accusations.
Gandhiji advocated ahimsa. Jesus Christ taught us to show our other cheek when we are slapped on one cheek. Utopian? Impractical ? Not meant for common man? Naturally these are our reactions. In fact, we feel that forgiveness as a response is more an expression of weakness and cowardice. Or we just can’t’ help hitting back?
But the underlying spirit of these teachings has a simple message that we can attempt to heed to, in our daily doses of conflicts… in our family life, office, public interaction.
This simple message is that we learn to avoid escalation of conflict. Each time we succeed in preventing one such escalation we sow a seed of peace.
Does it mean we don’t defend our rights or our convictions? That we allow the bullies to push their way through? No. but we can try to avoid making statements and observations that are not really relevant to the issue at hand. but inflammatory uttering that we use as a means of expressing our anger, to get back at those who wronged us.
Unfortunately our society is falling to this trap of arms race.
A Muslim bomb. A Hindu bomb in response. Pakistan supported terrorism. Our arms build-up at the border,.
One TV channel revealing position of commando.. Other TV channel telecast the interview with an MP who announces that a number of VIP guests are holed up in the chambers of Taj. Both these watched by the terrorists thus jeopardizing the rescue efforts.
One politician triggers violence against north Indians. The response is a massacre of Marathi in another state.
Does this happen only because of machinations byour politicians? I don’t think so. Are they not reflecting what our hearts silently beat for? As V S Naipaul commented. "The politics of a country can only be an extension of its human relationships"
It is time for us to reflect. Make a promise. Hold your tongue when it itches for a retort. Book mark this in your head.
We need to build a consensus. Build a momentum. The spirit of ahimsa. It got us independence with minimum bloodshed. It can keep us independent with minimum bloodshed
